My Dad’s death haunts me, he was the one who you would want by your side in a crisis. We are all going to die, I take comfort in that. We just do what we can to prolong our lives. A simple act will spark a memory bringing tears to my eyes. So many things remind me of him. The changing of the seasons, he is not here. A sunset he will never see, birds singing he will never hear. My son’s first words, his first steps, and the traits that he shares with my father. How could someone who was once so vital wither into a feeble shell, then transform to ashes- vanishing from existence. Unanswered questions, a lifetime of memories- some good and some bad. There is nothing that I can do, but hang my head and persevere into the unknown.
In life we are taught many life skills at an early age, but there are some things that we have to learn the hard way. We choose our relationships based on attraction, needs, and convenience. Sometimes we are left wondering what the hell just happened. There are many personality types that you will discover when you go out on the dating scene. One of such personalities is “the Parasite,” this person will suck the life force right out of you. They are clingy, needy, and want to dominate you in all of the wrong areas. They are subtle in the beginnings, but quickly manipulate through guilt and pressure. Be careful, this person wants your soul and a break up will be messy with this type. It is better to nip this parasite in the bud during the early stages. Another charmer is the “User,” this person will profess their love, when in truth their actions tell a different story. They will be sweet until they get what they want and then they may go missing for a while. This person uses their charms and a little flattery to obtain material, sexual, or emotional gratification. Often, they are using multiple people at the same time. Usually when your resources are dried up, they move on to greener pastures. Another person who you may run into is the “Porn Star.” This person has one thing on their mind and it usually isn’t dinner and a movie. They are hotter than two gerbils fornicating in a wool sock behind a dryer. Often they are preoccupied with their own looks and spend a great deal of time grooming themselves. If you are looking for monogamy, avoid this type at all cost. However if you want to be a member of the mile high club, this is your ticket. If you haven’t met the “Mama’s Boy,” be glad that you avoided this type. This person thinks that the world revolves around them, because Mommy gave in to their every whim. Usually this person is a narcissist of epic proportions. They act as if they are still attached at the nipple and never weaned. You will always be the third wheel in this relationship, you would be better off having your own child if you are willing to take care of a baby- Mama knows best. Another character you may meet is the “Cold Fish,” this person is emotionally unavailable. You would get more love from a feral cat. These people lack passion and live a mundane life. Usually everything that you say to them is never heard and they lack enthusiasm for anything. Finally, there is the “Basket Case,” you should avoid this shipwreck at all cost. They will sink you into the depths of hell. This person will be either mentally or physically abusive. They will manipulate you while at the same time, they will play the victim. Their moods changes faster than the seasons. Sometimes they will make you feel like you are not good enough or inferior. This character may be Bi-Polar or need anger management. They won’t deal with rejection easily and you will have to walk on eggshells around their feelings. Usually you will be too far into a relationship before you see a person’s true colors. In the end most everything that you liked about someone will be the things that annoy you most. Choose your mate wisely, life is too short to be wasted on relationship losers.
At an early age we learn a great deal about people from our interactions with other children on the playground. Hopefully this can help prepare us for the people who we will run into in the workforce. One of the most common types, “The Hall Monitor,” is a spineless creature who likes to tattle on others to gain favor with management. Often this type of person will move up along the ranks because they are willing to step on anyone to get to the top. This person is ruthless and will take credit for another person’s ideas and will make it a point to sabotage coworkers whenever the opportunity arises. Another all to familiar personality is “The slacker.” This person will go to great lengths to avoid working altogether. Often times they don’t realize it takes more work to hold their position of being lazy. This person is constantly hiding, taking breaks, or elongated lunches. When the work gets tough, they are nowhere to be found or they can be seen working at a snail’s pace. One person you will see who may not be quite as annoying is “Old Faithful,” that employee usually has been working since the existence of dinosaurs and has nothing special to offer other than consistency. They will usually never be more than a worker bee because they are mindless robots lacking in work place personality. Since we have discussed boring, we should cover “Drama Diva.” We are probably all picturing the young selfish girl who endlessly babbles about her problems while her repulsively long fake nails cradle her cell phone like a Venus Fly Trap. However, don’t be fooled, there are different ages of people who fall into this category. These people tend to dominate the conversation with their problems and eyebrow raising stories. They never shut up, and their stories become increasingly obscene over time. Their very presence makes you feel like a therapist who should be getting paid overtime. Let’s not forget “Bozo,” the entertainer who thinks that they are a comedian. This person comes to work solely for self entertainment and they believe that everyone thinks they are humorous as well. It is like a drunk person who believes they are the life of the party, when in truth, most people wish their mouth was padlocked. Often in management you see the “know-it-all,” they come in two forms the Chameleon and the Drill Sergeant. The Chameleon tries to get their way in a more subtle fashion and is more concerned with blending into the pack. You probably need to keep a closer eye on this boss. They are better at concealing their motives and they have a way of being sneaky. They will stab you in the back with a smile on their face. You never really know where you stand with this type. The Sergeant has a “their way or the highway” brute force attitude, it is all work and no play. You had better follow the rules or they will be breathing down your neck. There are many personalities in the work force blended like a recipe gone wrong, if you consume it, it will leave a bad taste in your mouth. There is a hard lesson that I have learned in the work force, other than not a lot has changed since the days on the playground. It is that often people who are not qualified will land a job over others because of who they know- “Name Droppers.” Don’t be surprised, it is just work place politics!